As a spanko, I think I kind of fetishize anger (the appropriate amount of anger, not too much). To me, anger is the holy grail of a spanking scene. Well, it doesn’t have to be anger. It could be disappointment or frustration, but the point is that it’s real emotion. On the flip side, that’s what makes it so hard for me to get into roleplay scenarios: nothing turns me off faster than fake outrage.
Actual domestic discipline is where my real interest lies. I want my bad behaviors to be noticed and reined in. I want my partner to lay down the law; I want them to care so much that they put me over their knee and spank me then and there. Or I want to do something so egregious that they can’t even deal with me yet; they have to send me to the corner while they cool off enough to punish me.
The main problem with this is that...well, my bad behaviors just aren’t that bad. Sometimes I forget to scoop the litter box? I tend to like staying up a little bit past when I should be in bed? I procrastinate on projects but always get them done on time? I tell my health-nut husband little white lies on occasion like, “Of course I didn’t eat any pizza!” There really isn’t that much to get emotional about. People, especially mostly-vanilla people like my husband, just don’t care that much about slightly-bad habits.
It’s a sort of spanko paradox, at least for people who aren’t into role play or bratting: we want it to be real, but we also like being responsible adults.
It’s so easy to fall into the spanking novel trap. There are lots of badly behaved women in the novels I read. Like, really bad. They put themselves in dangerous situations, make terrible decisions, and have lives that are in shambles. They spiral out of control without discipline. Whenever I read these novels, a part of my brain that I can’t turn off says, GET IT TOGETHER, LADY. Most people don’t behave like that, but the world of spanko novels normalizes it. It’s not very exciting to have a spanking novel full of scenes that go, “Hmmm, looks like you didn’t scoop the litter box again.”
These days, I’m more into reading spanking stories (even bad, completely unbelievable ones, which is most of them, including mine) than actually doing the thing. Are we doing it wrong? Is it better for couples who both have the spanking thing? Or is daily life for normal DD partners just lackluster sometimes? Maybe I should go do something awful and see if I can get some genuine anger out of Esquire (I won’t).