Does your submission – either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your submission as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

I would say that right now, my relationship doesn’t have a label. Everything about my submission stems from my spanking/discipline fetish, but while my partner and I are on the road to a domestic discipline dynamic, it’s not always smooth sailing. We miscommunicate a lot (well, I do, anyway) and make assumptions and get frustrated. It’s not like a spanking romance novel, but I don’t think anyone should expect that from real life. We’ve messed it up a million times. But I see progress.

The other day, I was digging through my implement bag, which has been sitting under the bed unused for four years (although I’ve doled out some implements to Esquire over time, which he likes). This time, though, he wanted to see everything that was in it and kept bending me over the bed to try them out: several different paddles, a leather strap, a cane (which he used carefully--not too hard until he gets the hang of it). This type of casual playing around doesn’t really get to the core of my discipline fetish, but I think it’s helping him get comfortable with the various technical aspects of spanking. And we’ve been exploring a little bit through role-play, which I never thought I’d be into.

So, while we don’t currently have the domestic discipline dynamic that I’d prefer, I think we’re on our way. I’ve noticed that Esquire has stepped up the rules and started paying more attention to whether or not I’m breaking them--and that, in turn, is making me want to obey rather than sneak around doing things I’m not supposed to.